Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Sometimes, I really wish I could just have some memories plucked out my head and never have to think about them. I mean I don't want to complete erase everything more like the feelings that went along with the stuff. Like I don't wana forget him all together like that was two years of my life and having two years magically erased would have me all types of fucked up. I'd be all what, I graduated high school? I joined a sorority? I'm not a virgin?! When the fuck did all that happen? lol That would just be a big hole. I would just like to forget the feelings so I wouldn't have to fight the urge to beat the crap out of him for what he put me through. Or maybe so I could listen to that Musiq Soulchild song "Love" without remembering how I felt that day when he played it for me.

But there are somethings I would like permanently erased. Like the time I threw up in that big 99cent store on 34th, when we made up that 7 wonders of the world crap when we liked that boy in 5th grade (which is by far the most humiliating thing I have ever subjected myself to lol). Now that's some shit I'd like to kick out lol.

But if God came to me one day and said, "Ashley, I'll take one memory away so choose wisely." I would beg him to take away November 12, 2008 8-11am. Those three little hours encompassed the worst moments of my life. I wake up every morning and I sit there and think about what the day would've been like if I did things differently, and I say honestly now I think it would've been amazing. It would've been complicated and hard, but it would've been beautiful and amazing.