Why I Love Tucker Max Part I of 100,927,383

So a while back I read this book "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" and i almost pissed my pants laughing several times, I mean this book is amazing. It's stories about some white frat boy type who gets drunk ALL the time and proceeds to fuck random girls not giving a shit about their feelings. Now some who know me well find it odd that I have proclaimed this man my hero, because he's my exact opposite, but that's not entirely true, I'm a complete assshole. but back to the main point. Tucker is my hero because in the words of Whitney Houston, he's "everything i would like to be" lol. DO i wish i could go out get drunk fuck random people be complete assholes to them and just walk away like lalalalala and go on amazing HIlarious adventures, you bet your ass I do lol. I mean who wouldn't. I think this is mostly in responce to me being stuck at home for college and not being able to do a damn thing half the time, which i have already expressed to my mother will end horibly when i move out and have a real job and responsibilities because i will need to get 20something years of repressed crazy shitfacedness out of my system.

So for now i live my life vicariously through you, oh great Tucker Max, may your slutdom continue into your 40s :)

Did I leave your mind while I was gone?

So im a crap blogger what can I say I'm busy sometimes son. I'm like a fierce fashion diva extraordinare (I can't spell whatever lol) now and that requires attention lol (not really though hehe).

so basically....lately I've been spending my days at school, work, or following gossip girl around like a loser, but it's cool I've gotten good pics lol. I'll write better blogs later okay when I have something better or at least semi interesting to say.

xoxo rev ruru jb

The. Funniest movie I have EVER seen

I think everyone in the world (and mars) should try and watch Bruno. I died, I came back to life after persistant resistation, but I died lol. It was SO funny hehe

Okee that's it for now duckies lol

p.s. Sorry for not like writing I've been involved with math and my modeling career lol

::sings:: Just like a tattooooooo

So...this is my tattoo lol

I get a lot of questions about it mostly "were you that big of an alcoholic that you needed a tattoo to keep you sober?" And when I say no idiot lol they wana know then well wtf Ashley hehe. Basically it's the Kelly Clarkson song "Sober" (lyrics to follow post yo lol). There's a line that goes "picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers" and that's basically it. To me the line means getting rid of all the negative and bad things that are keeping you down and killing all the beautiful and good things about you. And that's basically what I did this year said fuck you to all the negative energy that surrounded me and was driving me slowly but surely insane.

AND TO NOTE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MR. IT!!!! (Well not a lot lol) I mean my tattoo is mostly about my only regret and spotless mind moment, and I guess we can say he's indirectly responisble/connected for that, but that's as far as it goes. People comeon I half refuse to acknowledge his existence wth I look like with anything concerning him on my body perminately. I'd ear shit and die before I ever even thought about that are you KIDDING ME! Lol

But ANYWAYZ lol I love my tattoo!!!

lyrics "Sober" by Kelly Clarkson

And I don't know, this could break my heart or save me

nothing's real, until you let go completely

so here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving

so here I go with all my fears weighing on me

three months and I'm still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

and I don't know, I could crash and burn, but maybe

at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

so I won't worry 'bout my timing I'm gona get it right

no comparing, second guessing, no not this time

three months and I'm still breathing, been a long road since those hands I left my tears in

but I know, it's never really over, no

wake up

three months and I'm still standing here

three months and I'm getting better yeah

three months and I still am

three months and it's getting harder now

three months I've been living here without you now

three months yeah, three months i hold on

three months and I'm still breathing

three months and I still remember it

three months and I wake up

three months and I'm still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

To add to the list of things I love :)

Union Sq. Pizza Truck when I was broke as hell yesterday they had $3 slices of margarita pizza. ::yum:: And to add to the awesome luck I've been having some guy was giving out free coke zero so that was my lunch until I met up with my daddy and had burgers and steak for my Aunt Shirley's bday. Good shit good shit lol

And I found this bagh at Ricky's with real speakers built in the bottom. And in my head I've already bought it and am out on the great lawn blasting Fall Out Boy with erica hehe

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Sometimes, I really wish I could just have some memories plucked out my head and never have to think about them. I mean I don't want to complete erase everything more like the feelings that went along with the stuff. Like I don't wana forget him all together like that was two years of my life and having two years magically erased would have me all types of fucked up. I'd be all what, I graduated high school? I joined a sorority? I'm not a virgin?! When the fuck did all that happen? lol That would just be a big hole. I would just like to forget the feelings so I wouldn't have to fight the urge to beat the crap out of him for what he put me through. Or maybe so I could listen to that Musiq Soulchild song "Love" without remembering how I felt that day when he played it for me.

But there are somethings I would like permanently erased. Like the time I threw up in that big 99cent store on 34th, when we made up that 7 wonders of the world crap when we liked that boy in 5th grade (which is by far the most humiliating thing I have ever subjected myself to lol). Now that's some shit I'd like to kick out lol.

But if God came to me one day and said, "Ashley, I'll take one memory away so choose wisely." I would beg him to take away November 12, 2008 8-11am. Those three little hours encompassed the worst moments of my life. I wake up every morning and I sit there and think about what the day would've been like if I did things differently, and I say honestly now I think it would've been amazing. It would've been complicated and hard, but it would've been beautiful and amazing.

::sighs:: the brokeness

My last three dollars and my amex is gone. I get paid today and I'm gona see my dad later so that means I'll be rich soon lol. But for the next 2hrs I'm destitute, destitue and hungry. Times like these I wish I liked McDonalds lol. And I wonder what I can get at Whole Foods or Pret a Manger for $3, prob half a cookie.

But in other events (as a stroke of the pure luck I'm having this week continues) I met one of my idols, more to come later when I'm not starved to the point that the greenery around Union Sq. is looking quite tasty lol.