Did I leave your mind while I was gone?

So im a crap blogger what can I say I'm busy sometimes son. I'm like a fierce fashion diva extraordinare (I can't spell whatever lol) now and that requires attention lol (not really though hehe).

so basically....lately I've been spending my days at school, work, or following gossip girl around like a loser, but it's cool I've gotten good pics lol. I'll write better blogs later okay when I have something better or at least semi interesting to say.

xoxo rev ruru jb

The. Funniest movie I have EVER seen

I think everyone in the world (and mars) should try and watch Bruno. I died, I came back to life after persistant resistation, but I died lol. It was SO funny hehe

Okee that's it for now duckies lol

p.s. Sorry for not like writing I've been involved with math and my modeling career lol

::sings:: Just like a tattooooooo

So...this is my tattoo lol

I get a lot of questions about it mostly "were you that big of an alcoholic that you needed a tattoo to keep you sober?" And when I say no idiot lol they wana know then well wtf Ashley hehe. Basically it's the Kelly Clarkson song "Sober" (lyrics to follow post yo lol). There's a line that goes "picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers" and that's basically it. To me the line means getting rid of all the negative and bad things that are keeping you down and killing all the beautiful and good things about you. And that's basically what I did this year said fuck you to all the negative energy that surrounded me and was driving me slowly but surely insane.

AND TO NOTE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MR. IT!!!! (Well not a lot lol) I mean my tattoo is mostly about my only regret and spotless mind moment, and I guess we can say he's indirectly responisble/connected for that, but that's as far as it goes. People comeon I half refuse to acknowledge his existence wth I look like with anything concerning him on my body perminately. I'd ear shit and die before I ever even thought about that are you KIDDING ME! Lol

But ANYWAYZ lol I love my tattoo!!!

lyrics "Sober" by Kelly Clarkson

And I don't know, this could break my heart or save me

nothing's real, until you let go completely

so here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving

so here I go with all my fears weighing on me

three months and I'm still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

and I don't know, I could crash and burn, but maybe

at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

so I won't worry 'bout my timing I'm gona get it right

no comparing, second guessing, no not this time

three months and I'm still breathing, been a long road since those hands I left my tears in

but I know, it's never really over, no

wake up

three months and I'm still standing here

three months and I'm getting better yeah

three months and I still am

three months and it's getting harder now

three months I've been living here without you now

three months yeah, three months i hold on

three months and I'm still breathing

three months and I still remember it

three months and I wake up

three months and I'm still sober, picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

To add to the list of things I love :)

Union Sq. Pizza Truck when I was broke as hell yesterday they had $3 slices of margarita pizza. ::yum:: And to add to the awesome luck I've been having some guy was giving out free coke zero so that was my lunch until I met up with my daddy and had burgers and steak for my Aunt Shirley's bday. Good shit good shit lol

And I found this bagh at Ricky's with real speakers built in the bottom. And in my head I've already bought it and am out on the great lawn blasting Fall Out Boy with erica hehe

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Sometimes, I really wish I could just have some memories plucked out my head and never have to think about them. I mean I don't want to complete erase everything more like the feelings that went along with the stuff. Like I don't wana forget him all together like that was two years of my life and having two years magically erased would have me all types of fucked up. I'd be all what, I graduated high school? I joined a sorority? I'm not a virgin?! When the fuck did all that happen? lol That would just be a big hole. I would just like to forget the feelings so I wouldn't have to fight the urge to beat the crap out of him for what he put me through. Or maybe so I could listen to that Musiq Soulchild song "Love" without remembering how I felt that day when he played it for me.

But there are somethings I would like permanently erased. Like the time I threw up in that big 99cent store on 34th, when we made up that 7 wonders of the world crap when we liked that boy in 5th grade (which is by far the most humiliating thing I have ever subjected myself to lol). Now that's some shit I'd like to kick out lol.

But if God came to me one day and said, "Ashley, I'll take one memory away so choose wisely." I would beg him to take away November 12, 2008 8-11am. Those three little hours encompassed the worst moments of my life. I wake up every morning and I sit there and think about what the day would've been like if I did things differently, and I say honestly now I think it would've been amazing. It would've been complicated and hard, but it would've been beautiful and amazing.

::sighs:: the brokeness

My last three dollars and my amex is gone. I get paid today and I'm gona see my dad later so that means I'll be rich soon lol. But for the next 2hrs I'm destitute, destitue and hungry. Times like these I wish I liked McDonalds lol. And I wonder what I can get at Whole Foods or Pret a Manger for $3, prob half a cookie.

But in other events (as a stroke of the pure luck I'm having this week continues) I met one of my idols, more to come later when I'm not starved to the point that the greenery around Union Sq. is looking quite tasty lol.

insomniac procrastination

It's like 2am and I'm wide awake, and writing this when I should be studying for my econ final tomorrow. And considering that I've taken this class an amount I care not release to the general public you'd think I'd have my head burried in a book, but nope.

Economics is crap such rediculous evil mean spirited crap.

One reason I really hate being awake at 2 is there's nothing on tv. As I scroll down the tv guide all I see is infomercials, repeats and porn, and not even the good kind. Not the infomercials that make me wana buy a fondu fountain, but the weird self help books written by pseudo doctors who are probably high on xanax right now. Not the good repeats like the "Cosby Show", but like "That 70's Show" after Topher left and it got weird. And that creepy porn where people are getting kinda freaky, not the funny type with the bad music and the plumber walking in on the lady in the shower and she goes "Oh, have you come to fix my pipes? They've been awfully clogged lately." lol

If i could find something halfway decent to watch, or find where my adderall is and take two so I could focus, I think life would be better at this current moment in time......

::sighs:: It's times like these when I miss him SO much, when i couldn't sleep, I could just call him or txt him cause he didn't sleep either....talking to him, or just hearing his name, his voice, or just knowing he was there to talk to, used to be so soothing put me to sleep...now they send me in fits of rage and something gets broken lol

......ahhh there's nothing like rambling on for China in the middle of the night.

mmmm Chuck Bass how I love thee, let me count the ways.....

Gossip Girl started filming in the city on monday around Gramercy Park. I happened to walk by and see the raaw sexuality, I hope to be my British Invasion, that is Ed Westwick. Oh the filthy filthy dirty things I'd do to him. lol

ooooo i have a blog ::smiles::

I figured I'd start one of these seeing as I'm so incredibly interesting and fab.

But really mostly because I don't have much going on lol. I figured I'd use this as a place to show off my keen fashion sense, my hilariousity and my flair for the rediculous, and to ramble on for hours about absolutely nothing because tis what I love to do.

xoxo
rxbvalentina